What Makes Self-Help Programs Fail?
Have you ever tried to eliminate a negative behavior, only to fail? There is list of universal problem behaviors that people often try to change or do away with using self-hypnosis. The most common are: Overeating and weight loss; stop smoking; quit chewing tobacco; stop nail biting; increasing self-confidence; overcoming insomnia and sleeping better; improving memory; and managing stress.
WHAT THE MIND CAUSES, THE MIND CAN CURE: The motivation for our behaviors starts in our thoughts. If you mull it over, all of these harmful behaviors are the consequence of negative thinking. In other words, you think and motivate yourself into all of these behaviors. Or at least you think yourself into feeling worried, and that can result in these behaviors. And in view of the fact that you think and motivate yourself into these behaviors, you can think and motivate yourself out of them as well. But in order to successfully think and motivate yourself out of these negative behaviors, you will need to know the “Motivation Formula For Success.”
DESIRE: You are possibly reading this article for the reason that you want the motivation to alter some personal behaviors. And that’s convenient for the reason that the first component in the “Motivation Formula For Your Success” is that you must want or desire to change. If you have read this far, at least a little part of you wishes a change.
BELIEF IS REQUIRED FOR MOTIVATION: Before anyone can change an unhelpful behavior, that person must be motivated to do so. Merely wanting a change is not sufficient.
Our motivation comes from what we believe. If we believe that something very important to us will get better or “become enhanced” if we make a change in our behavior, then we will feel motivated. Conversely, if we believe that something very important to us will be placed in jeopardy if we don’t make a change in our behavior, we will also experience motivation to alter our behavior.
Some straightforward examples of these motivational beliefs might be:
If I lose weight, then I’ll be able to get a date or find someone to love me.
If I quit smoking cigarettes, then I’ll be healthier.
If I stop biting my nails, then my hands will be a lot prettier.
TECHNOLOGIES THAT CAN CREATE THE BELIEFS THAT LEAD TO MOTIVATION: NLP - which is short for Neuro-Linguistic Programming, provides methods that can immediately create the element of belief. You can discover more concerning this by reading the articles “How To Get Motivated To Exercise Using Hypnosis And NLP” and “Motivation Theory - How To Quit Smoking Using NLP And Hypnosis For Motivation.” These articles are both available in my free hypnosis research library.
DECISION: The dictionary defines the word “Decision” as making up one’s mind / a verdict or judgment. When you accept as true a thought that provides you with a powerful feeling of motivation to make a change, you will feel a compulsion to make a decision to get rid of a negative behavior. Decision is the key that unlocks the door to compelling action.
ACTION: The dictionary defines the word “Action” as an act or deed / to do or perform. Taking action means that rather than just thinking about making personal changes, you will actually take action and create your desired changes.
SELF-TALK: One of the reasons that individuals fail to change or eliminate a negative behavior is because of their self-talk. Self-talk is important because very often it is an important part of what caused the negative behavior in the first place.
I’d like you to think about this for a moment: Let’s say that you want to stop smoking. Possibly the first thing that you are likely to say or think to yourself is: “I’m not going to smoke anymore.”
It’s common for people to tell themselves what they aren’t going to do. Unfortunately, when we tell ourselves what we are not going to do, we are actually programming ourselves to do it!
SELF-TALK EXERCISE: Say the following to yourself: I can’t see blue. I can’t see polka dots . . . . . . .
I’ll bet your mind showed you the color blue, and then it showed you polka dots. That’s because when we tell ourselves what we aren’t going to do, in order to make sense of it our mind must make an image of us doing what it is that we wish to stop doing. And when we see ourselves participating in a behavior, our mind gives us a compulsion to produce that behavior.
SUMMARY: In order to get rid of a negative behavior, we must want or DESIRE to get rid of it. BELIEF is the element that creates MOTIVATION. MOTIVATION is the drive that pushes us to DECISION. DECISION is the impetus to ACTION. NLP is a tool that we can use to facilitate beliefs, motivation, decisions, and actions.
When we tell ourselves what we are not going to do, we make a mental image of ourselves in the behavior that we want to modify. And that mental image gives us a compulsion to generate the negative behavior. So if we want to get rid of a negative behavior, rather than tell ourselves what we won’t do, we must always tell ourselves what we will do.
To stop smoking say: “I can live without them.”
To abolish cravings for food that will make you fat or to quit smokeless tobacco say: “I can live without it.”
To eliminate stress say: “I’m relaxed and calm, both mentally and physically.”
To sleep better say: “I fall asleep quickly, and sleep soundly throughout the night.”
Alan B. Densky, CH is certified by the NGH. He runs the Neuro-VISION self-hypnosis CDs website and the Self-hypnosis Video Blog. He offers NLP & hypnosis CDs for motivation. Visit the website for his free downloads of hypnosis & NLP MP3’s, his research library and newsletters.
- Alan B. Densky, CH